Yowza. 2012 saw mucho-a-changes-o for The Old Man and I. For the first time in our lives, we have the word “beach” as part of our address and we couldn’t be happier about it! Outside of that move, we have much to share on from the happenings of 2012, and we’ll regale you with them starting right meow.
You Old Dog, You
As many of you know, Peanut and I have been trend setters for years – whether it be in how we dress or what we say. For instance, Peanut made it fashionable to wear dog sweaters for puppies when he himself was an overweight and aging beagle. And I for years have been making up sayings and starting verbal trends. Who could forget the “dirty” 2010, or the “filthy” year that followed that? Well this year is no different as boy do I got a real trend setter for you, and it’s four simple letters. YODU. That’s not a typo ladies and gents, not “YOLO,” but “YODU,” which stands for the phrase, “You old dog, you.”
How do you use it in a sentence, you ask? Well, YODU is used when describing something (i.e. a person, an event, a meal) that is truly indicative of what you would expect of it. It’s meant to be an optimistic, caring commentary on the item in question. Let me give you an example: if I were to order chicken tenders at a 5-star steak restaurant, the appropriate response from my peers would be, “YODU.” Another example would be recently my brother-in-law enjoyed a lengthy discussion with a German fellow at a computer conference. My reaction: “YODU.” So you get the idea. It’s gonna take the nation my storm.
Orange & Blue Is The New Silver & Black
For many, the fact that I quit my job, moved away from home, and got a tattoo was mere peanuts and candy corn (this is another saying I am working on) to what they viewed as the most shocking change in my life – as this year I said good bye to my love for the silver and black, and for the first time fully embraced that delicious color combo that is, the orange and blue. I know, it’s still a little shocking even for me when I say it. But Tebow stole my heart last year, and Manning’s got it now. For the first time in my life, I’m proud to say I am part of Bronco Nation!
Keeping with the annual tradition, Kim K is still very much in my sights. She may technically be with Kanye, but I am a CPA (which is a very sexy profession) and I’ve never lived closer to her. With that in mind, I’ve never been more confident. I know I said it last year, but I’m still thinking that next year’s Xmas Letter will be from myself, Peanut, and Kim. Stay tuned.
I had the time of my life this past summer – beach hopping from Malibu to Tijuana. Sure it got lonely, but boy howdy was it pretty. Here’s one of my favorite sunsets from the summer of 2012:
YODU Moment Of The Year
(Photo: Mincemeat pie, circa 2007. Courtesy: AP)
In the YODU moment of the year, yours truly took a vacation from my vacation earlier this summer and spent a day in Catalina … alone. This is about as YODU as it gets, as my adventurous, exploratory ways were not hindered or bogged down when it came to visiting a distant island meant for newlyweds, lovers, and retirees. I spent the entire day either overhearing recipes for mince meat pies and stories about ‘Nam (this was from the retirees) or becoming nauseated as couples argued with each other as to who of the two of them really should be called, “schmoopy.” I tell you this – Catalina won’t be in my cards any time soon.
Ten Year Anniversary
In September my love and I celebrated ten years together. Ten years! It has been an amazing ride; and I just thank God every day for being blessed with such a wonderful companion on the road of life. We’ve been through so much together – Lois and I. We saw each other through everything. She was with me when I graduated high school. She saw me through the tough times in college when I thought I was never going to pass that class. And I too have been there for her. In 2010 when she infamously just broke down and it didn’t look like she was going to make it, I was there. And we even came out to California together. The point is, through thick and thin, good times and bad, we were there for each other. I love her as much today as I did the day I met her.
Oh, I remember it like it was yesterday. We purchased her for a cool $8,850 – a king’s ransom in those days. But a ransom well worth it, as me and Lois (named after my first ever crush from “Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman”) have and continue to be together. Here’s to another 10 years, Lois … or until your repair costs financially just don’t make sense anymore and I replace you.
Guys, I’m a realist. I get it. There’s probably very little chance that Kim K and I end up together. But a boy can dream. In the end though, my last name probably won’t be Kardashian this time next year. But at least as a constellation prize I met another hero of mine. The Soup Nazi himself. Take a gander:
I know it’s “consolation.”
We Got Fleas….That’s What We’re Gonna Call It
So P and I move out cross country and nobody warned us that this state is plagued by blood sucking parasites that latch themselves on to our best friends and make them miserable. I hate fleas. In the sad note of the year, The Old Man (who is now almost 15 by the way) has been the equivalent of a woman in her third trimester for much of his time in Cali. In other words, he’s been uncomfortable. These fleas put up quite the battle, but we’re winning the war. Sucks though … literally.
As many of you know, Peanut loves the holidays. Always has. His favorite traditions include eating scraps that fall from the table at Thanksgiving, finding the lone gift wrapped fruit cake under the tree, and blowing a streamer when the clock hits midnight on New Year’s Eve. He loves all of that. But perhaps his favorite tradition is Halloween night – for on one night, he is allowed to be whatever he wants. This year, Peanut chose to be a college graduate, and boy did he love it. In fact, he loved it so much that ever since the night I dressed him up, I haven’t been able to find any of those clothes and props. He must have loved it so much that he’s storing them in a secret place so he can parade around as an alumnus anytime he wants. He’s a total YODU. Literally.
You Want A Laugh?
Unfortunately Youtube won’t let you search for this video as it’s hidden, but if you go to the following site you’ll witness something painful. In my first week at work out here we sang happy birthday to some guy I had never met before. It was awkward. I was awkward. Just watch.
Top 5 Songs of 2012
The songs that defined 2012 for Peanut and I:
5. Home – Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros
4. Boa Sorte – Ben Harper and Vanessa Da Mata
3. You and No Other – PawnShop Kings
2. California Sunrise – Dirty Gold
1. Heartbeat Slowing Down – The All American Rejects
As many of you know, I wrote a very odd trilogy back in 2007 and 2008. This year the final two stories joined its predecessor as published pieces of work. As weird as these stories are, I’m pretty damn proud.
Peanut and I wish you and yours a Merry Christmas! As you can see, The Old Man and I have been nothing less than a couple of YODUs this past year, and we loved sharing with you why. We’d love to hear y’all’s yodulicious moments of the year as well! Stay in touch and Merry Christmas!